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God Changed My Husband's Mind

By Linda Brodsky

"I told you, again and again, that I will not have the reversal, and I meant it. I am not getting it. That is it."

The words were difficult to read, but not nearly as difficult as he thought they would be. I knew my trust in God was being tested. But He prepared me for this letter from my husband just the night before. In a vision, He told me that I would someday give birth to a boy. Even in spite of the fact that my husband had had a vasectomy over 5 years before and was not about to get a reversal. But I put my trust in God because I knew what the Holy Spirit had shown me and I knew that somehow God would be glorified through all of this.

The conflict started at our Valentine's Day dinner 2000. Afterwards, as we pulled into the driveway, I asked Mark if we could talk in the car before going into the house. It was then that I told him how I discovered that our vasectomy was a sin. God had led me to various sources such Mary Pride's "The Way Home" and Blessed Arrows, a reversal ministry; and Sisters in Christ, a Christian, home schooling, quiver full-minded e-group. I also came across Nancy Campbell's site, Above Rubies. When I spoke to Mark, it had already been a few months that God was working on my heart. When I explained my newfound truth to him, he said that he didn't see how it could be true and he didn't want anymore children. That's it, period.

Six years previous, we found out I was pregnant again when we had a three-month-old. The very day my home pregnancy test came back positive, Mark went to the doctor for his vasectomy consultation. I am sure that if we were in tune to the Holy Spirit, we would've gotten that hint and wouldn't have gone through with the vasectomy. If only I had a quiver full-minded Christian friend to show me the truth…but, alas, I didn't and immediately after I had our daughter, Victoria, Mark went ahead and got the vasectomy. I remember being in the doctor's office with David, approximately one year old and Victoria, an infant and I had to go up to the receptionist's window and sign a "consent form". As I was reading it, all of a sudden, Mark was whisked away into the operating room. I didn't even have a chance to say "good luck" or anything. I remember turning around and he was gone. In that instant, I felt something terrible. It was a cold, lonely, fearful feeling….a point for satan.

On February 16th, 2000, I entered a prayer request in my prayer journal. I asked God for Mark to study the Bible and realize that the vasectomy was a mistake and to welcome any baby that He blessed us with. I wrote that I would continue to do what God wanted me to do, to be a good wife and continued to pray that Mark change his mind and grow as a Christian. I asked God to increase Mark's trust and faith in Him and assure him that He would take care of us financially or any other way that was bothering Mark.

Over the next several months I prayed, read my Bible and wrote faithfully in my prayer journal. It was definitely a period of growth for me. I read whatever I could get my hands on about being a godly wife and mother, prayer and family planning.

Seeing how convicted I still was over the issue, Mark suggested that we go to our pastor. So in August of 2000, I presented a 74 + page thesis to them. When it was all said and done, Mark's mind was not changed and our pastor just wanted to see us on "the same page". That night I went home and prayed that God would help me to keep my mouth shut and be in submission to Mark while He changed his heart.

In September we met with our pastor again and he shared Psalm 37 with us. He told Mark that he understood his fears of having another child (he had 5 children at the time). As a result of our meeting, Mark and I started reading a book that our pastor loaned to us, "A Marriage Without Regrets" by Kay Arthur. Mark and I also started praying together every morning too - a prayer of mine answered.

In the fall of 2000 our marriage was under incredible strain. I prayed and read my Bible daily for hours. I wrote in my prayer journal - my requests, my thanksgivings and all of the small answered prayers I had been experiencing along the way. I continued to pray that God would help me to be quiet and the Holy Spirit be the one to speak to Mark - to show him His truth and give Mark faith enough to obey it.

Throughout the winter of 2000/2001 I continued to pray fervently. Great things were happening - Mark & I were growing and God was blessing us with more opportunities and financial rewards. However, Mark didn't want me to pray for him and actually asked me to stop. I think he felt I was praying for him to change (which I was) - and he didn't want to change. I showed him all the wonderful answered prayers in my prayer journal and he was quite surprised. These were things that Mark actually wanted. On a step of faith, I started a jar and wrote on it, "For God's Army". It was my own personal reversal fund that I tucked away in my nightstand. I made a commitment to put in it any one dollar bills I collected.

There were many times I felt like giving up. But I realized it was satan trying to keep us in bondage. During this time I prayed that Mark's heart would be turned back towards home and his children. It was then that Brodsky Ministries was born. I was specifically praying that Mark would realize that children are the treasures we store up in heaven and today Matthew 6:21 has become Brodsky Ministries' slogan - "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Throughout that year, I received a lot of support and prayers from my friends on-line in my SistersnChrist e-group and through the ladies in the Blessed Arrows ministry. I couldn't begin to tell you what their advice and friendship has meant to me. They were my life-line during this very difficult time and I am so thankful that God put them there!

During this time God also used me as a walking testimony of my trust in Him and what He had shown me. I had helped other women make the decision (along with their husbands) to stop using birth control. This included a very good friend of mine who only lived in this state for a little over a year before her husband was transferred. (She said the only thing that was good about living here was meeting me!) I also helped her make a decision to home school - as a matter of fact it was during this time that she came over my house to gain a better understanding of home schooling, that I was able to share with her my convictions regarding birth control. I don't remember how the subject came up, but she recognized that God put me in her path for a reason. She and her husband were just discussing the very thing.

As I said before, I continued to see small prayers answered and once in December of 2000, while Mark and I were arguing, he blurted out, "Birth control is wrong!" I knew God was working on his heart and I continued to pray - always asking God to give me patience and help me hold my tongue. (Not an easy thing for me to do!)

It was a very emotional time and I found myself crying a lot. Not because I didn't trust that God would take care of the situation - but when He would. I felt such a heavy burden and an incredible weight of sadness filled me. I know that my children suffered during this time and they sensed something very wrong. I found myself in constant prayer - while washing the dishes, driving the car, taking a shower…I would often mutter in my half-awake state, "Change his heart. Please, God. Dear God, please. Open his eyes" over and over again.

I continued to trust in God and lean on Him and was reassured and lifted up in prayer by my on-line friends.

It was then January of 2001 that Mark wrote me the letter and said he would never get a reversal. But I also had the vision the very night before. I knew I had to trust in God, in spite of what Mark had said. I told our pastor and some other friends about this vision. I thanked God for showing it to me and kept watching and waiting to see how He would work.

There were many "glimmers" of hope during the winter of 2001. Mark had taken a fondness to our pastor's youngest son, Zachary and other babies seemed to be more interesting to him. I could see the way God was drawing him to these precious babies. I thanked Him for every baby that came across our lives - I knew He was getting through to Mark - slowly, but surely. I knew Mark was also in prayer about the birth control issue too. He kept asking God to speak to him. I continued my study on being a wife that God wanted me to be and focused on pleasing Mark, so I continued to do everything I could to keep Mark happy - tending to the things I knew were important to him.

In February 2001, the Lord showed me Psalm 27:14, "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"

And at the end of February, Mark admitted that he had been thinking of how cute little Zachary was (Zachary is the only one on this planet that I know who shares my birthday! Coincidence? No, I don't think so!) At this time Mark also confessed that he believed that children were a blessing from God and that God was the one who opens and closes wombs. I thanked God profusely after he told me that!

During my intense research, I learned about fasting and prayer. I did a lot of praying and decided to fast as well. I asked Mark to just research the birth control issue and he agreed. I fasted most of the time for the months of February, March and April. I spent a lot of time praying and crying out to God and reading His Word. There was a lot of tension between Mark and me. No doubt there were some major spiritual battles going on. He thought I needed "help" because he didn't think that anyone else felt the same way I did. I asked him if he'd be willing to talk to people I knew that did feel this way (including David & Lori Crank - thank you!). To my amazement, he said "yes"! Mark tried to contact friends of ours - the same couple I helped to make the decision to home school and let God plan their family. Unfortunately, they were on vacation, and he never got to speak to them.

In the meantime, we started reading Mary Pride's, "The Way Home" and Charles Provan's, "The Bible and Birth Control." My emotions were quite high during this time of re-reading these books sparked my convictions. I cried during sermons, prayer, and reading. One morning, in late April, I was crying and Mark assured me I had nothing to cry about. I prayed for patience as he made his decision. At this time, my "For God's Army" jar had $187 in it.

On May 1st, my oldest daughter and I attended the annual Daughter Dinner at our church. The pastor's wife did the devotion. She spoke about her 5 children as being the treasures she's storing up in heaven and the "things" (jewelry & other material possessions) were unimportant items that couldn't be taken with her.

The next morning, as Mark and I sat down to pray, he took his hands in mine and told me he'd like to tell me something before we started. Well, satan put doubt into my head and I thought he was going to tell me that he understood the books we were reading, but it wasn't for him. I was surprised to hear him say, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'd like to go ahead and get the reversal." I couldn't believe my ears. I immediately started crying. I couldn't even describe the weighted feeling that was lifted off of me that morning. I couldn't even gain my composure enough to pray - until later on after Mark left, I dropped to my knees and thanked God profusely.

Recommended Web Sites:

Above Rubies (Nancy Campbell) http://www.aboverubies.org

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Items of Interest

The Way Home
Beyond Feminism Back To Reality (Rare, out of print book)
We have some USED copies of this now out-of-print book. There are no markings in the books. Covers are a little worn, bent, but otherwise, excellent condition! We are searching far and wide to keep this book available to new readers!
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Bible and Birth Control
Psalm 127:4
Did you know....? 1. That John Calvin declared birth control as murder of future persons? 2. That John Wesley said that taking "preventative measures" was unnatural and would destroy the souls of those who practiced it? 3. That the Pilgrims ruled that a church official found guilty of birth control was no longer allowed to hold his position? (There would be many, many pastors without churches if this was put into effect today!) 4. That Martin Luther declared birth control as sodomy?
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A Full Quiver
Family Planning And The Lordship of Christ
Here is Scriptural proof that God can and will personally optimize your family size - and how to let Him!
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Be Fruitful And Multiply
What the Bible Says About Having Children
Foreword by Douglas W. Phillips. For six-thousand years, believers viewed children as a blessing and reward of the Lord greatly to be desired. It was widely accepted that those who cut off their seed usually did so in violation of the express commands of God. Only in the last seventy-five years have child prevention and birth control become acceptable in the Church. Be Fruitful and Multiply makes the case that Christians should do more than just "trust God" for children, we should cry out to the Lord to bless the fruit of the womb.
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